The naked truth about torn jeans

  I recently ran across this article from the Vancouver Sun- First I would like to point out for the Ladies… that the mysterious crop circles or small holes that form just below the belly button on women’s T-shirts is caused by YOUR SEAT BELT- lift your shirt up so your seat belt does not rub on the BUTTON of your jeans.  Back to the article: Men please wash your jeans every 5-6 times you wear them and you will get the best Value=LIFE out of your denim…and… I suggest boxer breifs! Below you will find a copy of the article… but truly I have the solution in thisparagraph so, read if you must:

Love,

your Butt Therapist  

Raw denim may be more prone to wearing out in sensitive areas. Here’s how to deal with it

 BY RITA SIRIGNANO, POSTMEDIA NEWS MARCH 1, 2011   

Just like crop circles, the mystery of the jeans crotch blowout remains unsolved, but there are methods for saving your perfect raw denims should you suffer this embarrassing disaster. When I told a friend I was writing about “crotch blowout” she assumed it was some sort of new Brazilian hairstraightening technique for the nether regions. Unless you’re a guy who wears expensive denim, you probably don’t know what it is either.

I certainly didn’t until a few weeks ago, when I innocently inquired of a stylish young photographer as to the provenance of his luxe-looking skinny jeans.

“Are those Nudies?” I asked.

“Cheap Mondays,” stylish young photographer said, “I used to buy Nudies but I got fed up with the crotch blowout.”

The what now? The SYP went on to explain he’d once owned about 12 pairs of the pricey raw denim, but switched brands after tearing the crotch in a pair he’d owned for only three months. And not for the first time. “Check it out on the Internet, Nudies are notorious for it,” he suggested.

So I did, and photo boy was right. Blogs and chat rooms devoted to denim are rife with aficionados discussing this problem. To be fair, crotch blowout is not a problem unique to Nudies (I suspect the brand’s price and popularity earn it the most complaints). A. P. C.’s, RRL’s, even Levi’s have all been reported to blow in their first trimester. However, unlike pregnancy, this dilemma seems to affect only the male of the species.

This may be, as one chat-room denim head surmised, because guys tend to wear their jeans low, which puts a lot of stress on the crotch.

Or maybe not.

As with crop circles, or the small holes that mysteriously form just below the navel on women’s T-shirts, theories abound as to what the cause may be. Could it be that raw denim is simply weaker because it’s not washed after being dyed? Or is it the wearing for months without washing (the secret to achieving the coveted “good fade”) that weakens the fabric? Is it possible it’s caused by bacteria?

The recent experiment by University of Alberta student Josh Le and his Human Ecology professor would seem to debunk the latter theory. Le earned international media attention after wearing a pair of Nudies every day for 15 months without once washing them. (It seems that scientists also suffer for their work.) His prof Rachel McQueen then bravely took a bacterial count off them. Le then washed the pants and wore them for just 13 days, at which point McQueen took the count again. Although Le wore underwear through the entire experiment, five kinds of skin bacteria were found in the unwashed jeans (the count was highest in the crotch area, if you must know). But the levels in the never-washed versus the recently cleaned were not significantly different. Thus, it’s safe to assume that the crotch-blowout phenomenon is not caused by cooties.

Whatever the reason, no one wants the crotch of their $200 pair of jeans disintegrating after mere months. Luckily, most neighbourhood dry cleaners can repair torn jeans, either with a patch or by reweaving the fabric. But if the pair you own are irreplaceable you might want to consider sending them to a pro. For a fraction of the cost of a new pair of Nudies, New York’s Denim Therapy will repair crotch blowout and almost anything else that’s befallen your jeans. Just do them a favour and run your jeans through the spin cycle before you ship. The crotch blowout may remain an unsolved mystery, but no one wants to handle that kind of dirty denim.

 See @denimtherapy .com

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